Hi everyone, I hope everyone is doing well with their new babies and new pregnancies! I havn't got on in a while, but I just felt I needed to talk.
After Roman and Ashton passing, my first plan of action was to get pregnant asap. Well as we all know I had a beautiful baby girl on Spet 10 2009. I can't believe she'll be 5 months in only a few days. I freely admit that my being pregnant with her was my way of bandaging an open wound, I thought it would help me grieve. My whole pregnancy I was so happy (generally - what pregnant lady doesn't have an off day).Well here it is and I feel as though I am going down hill again. I talk to my boys every night, asking them to watch over their sisters, thanking them for our newest baby, telling them how much mommy loves and misses them, and how one day I will get to hold them again. I know without them leaving us we wouldn't have her. In my mind I just want to be pregnant again (just one more - I tell my husband - who's not compling to my wishes). My BFF is pregnant and I am so jealous of her! And I hate that because she is my BF. I hope that she'll have a girl, but I have this feeling she'll have a boy. (and not that this matters, but she's that friend that gets WHATEVER she wants. For example, she told her hubby that when she got her positive stick she wanted and SUV so one week after her positive she got a brand new 80000 (not exagerating) Cadi Escalaid - dont we all wish we were so lucky!) So, I just know that she wants a boy she'll get it somehow... Anyways (sorry for that vent) So I am just wondering if some of you new moms who sort of did the "band-aid" thing are going or went through the same thing... I have felt so gloomy for a month or so and it started with my first period and I am just ready to shake it off already. I am not sure if I grieved wrong (if that's possible) or if I just can't get it out of my head that I should have 3 babies not just 2 and it's really bothering me.
Talk to you all soon