I feel bad because I haven't been keeping up with the boards. It's been a very busy summer and I guess that's a sign that my life returned to some normalcy despsite the loss of Olivia & Julia. I was just remarking to Kendra on Facebook that it's a little bit of a guilt trip to realize that you spend less time thinking about our angel babies and more time thinking about our new blessings. I believe God has a plan for all of us if we just let go and trust Him. This pregnancy has been soooooo different than the girls. I've been joking that the baby is more like his father - and maybe it's just knowing that things can change in a split second. It's a wonder that any of us has been able to make it through subsequent pregnancies with our tragedies looming in the past. It makes it hard to enjoy the pregnancy at times, but ultimately our children know our hearts and the love that we have for them.
The other good news is that we do support and hold each other up reminding each other that we are strong enough to overcome loss and heart break. And so it is that I've been able to reasonably enjoy this pregnancy. For a few weeks now the flutters have been growing into unmistakable kicks and punches making me believe that our baby boy could be something of an athelete (shhh - he gets that from my side). Along with the reassurance that comes from his regular movement, I can now say that 28 weeks of pregnancy nearly assures us that our outcome will be much better this time. In fact, the perinatologist assures me that things look good (and I am fortunate enough to get that reassurance every two weeks). My blood pressure has been better during my pregnancy that it's every been and our only hang up at this time is the dreaded gestational diabetes, which doesn't respond to diet and has required LOTS of insulin. I'm responsible for injecting insulin four times a day and checking my blood sugar 4 times a day. It was very stressful and emotional for the first few weeks, but I'm looking at it as short term and for the good of our precious son. And...(I can't believe I'm saying this) it's not so bad. I feel like it's a badge of honor at this point.
Anyway, my thoughts, prayers and well wishes to all of you. Our struggles are never shouldered alone and when we look back we see what amazing women we
really are. Stay positive and take care of yourselves. Everything in God's time and lay everything in his hands. Best wishes...